2022.01.16 23:02 ThatDude_Dan W almost as big as my mic
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2022.01.16 23:02 psoriasisthrowing Did I have dysphoria as a child/teen? How should I interpret that now?
TLDR at the bottom
To my knowledge, I am a gay man in my mid 20s. I grew up with a family that loved me a lot, but were pretty clueless about queer stuff, and so as a child I was never aware of what being gay or trans meant. I always knew I was different to the other boys, and was a very feminine, sensitive child.
Up until the age of about 10, in my dreams I was a girl. I wasn't dreaming specifically about being a girl, I just incidentally was always female in any dream I had. I would then wake up and realise, ah crap, I'm actually a boy. When awake I would react negatively to stereotypes/playful ribbing about boys (eg; boys like rough and tumble, boys are less clever than girls) by mentally screaming that I didn't want to get lumped in with the rest of the boys. But I never wanted to wear girls clothing, and never hated having a penis or looking like a boy.
Then came puberty, and suddenly I did. Turns out I was a ticking time bomb for becoming incredibly fucking hairy. We're not talking quite robin Williams level, but still a huge amount of thick black chest, back, leg and ass hair. It was super weird, because my face still looked, and still does look, very non-masculine and childlike, and the hair on my head was blond. The hair started on my toes and crept up my body, engulfing each piece of me one by one. I was so ashamed of it and so disgusted that I tried to hide it from everyone. I stole my mum's razors and shaved it. I didn't wear shorts until I was 19, except in PE, which I would stress about for hours before. It compounded all the other body insecurities I already had and my mental health really suffered from it.
Then I started growing facial hair, and I hated that with a similar passion. I again would steal my mum's razors and shave off any small fluff in the hopes that no-one would be able to tell it had ever been there. When my dad pointed out that he needed to start teaching me how to shave, I felt as though he'd pointed out something that was incredibly personal and embarrassing, as though I had exposed myself in public. I intrinsically treated it as something that didn't belong on my face, and something to be absolutely ashamed of. All in all, I felt like my new 6"3 bulky hairy body was completely unrepresentative of the much gentler, unmasculine and sensitive person inside.
Now that I'm a bit older, a lot of this stuff has lessened. I still remain clean shaven, and I'm still a clearly queer man, but I'm not a woman in my dreams anymore and I can see myself with stubble and not be horrified. However it's hard to tell how much of that is because I've managed to stumble into other huge body insecurities (I've managed to get an eating disorder and a horrible skin condition covering 50% of my body, both of which are currently more pressing issues in my life).
In hindsight, and with the pressure of a recent mental breakdown (for lack of a better term), I've been going over these things, wondering if they're a sign that, at the very least as a kid, I was a bit trans? That I was somewhere else on the gender spectrum? And what that means for me now, as an adult? Has it been beaten out of me by a heterosexist society, or has it been beaten just deeper inside where I can't recognise it? Is this why I've never felt comfortable in my own skin? I don't think other guys question whether they're trans like I do, and I've been doing it on and off for five years.
I don't have many trans friends, so I just thought it'd be helpful to get a take on it from people who understand what dysphoria feels like. I'm not expecting to be told my gender, just to hear from people with similar (or maybe not so similar experiences).
TLDR: I was a gender non-conforming boy who hated being turned into a man by puberty. I'm now an unhappy 26 year old, wondering how seriously should I be questioning my gender.
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2022.01.16 23:02 aquietvengeance Wanted salsa chicken. Got salsa chicken.
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2022.01.16 23:02 erinhm Is my betta fish healthy?
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2022.01.16 23:02 the_pastafarian808 Scud
Supposedly there is a hardcover version of the Scud the Disposable Assassin : The Whole Shebang. I've been ripped off embarrassingly more than once by purchasing advertised hc version of this only to receive the same paperback that is readily available. Does anyone have a hardcover copy of this and looking to sell or trade?
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2022.01.16 23:02 Practical_Delay_9171 🐯
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2022.01.16 23:02 I-SAM-_- Anybody know Spanish?
2022.01.16 23:02 Bonus1Fact [News Shorts] More than 2,700 people in hospital with COVID-19 in New South Wales ¦ Sky News Australia
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2022.01.16 23:02 BigPapaPage716 PS4 Anyone have purple Astro csx they can sell me?
2022.01.16 23:02 goodwillis Simple tattoo design
2022.01.16 23:02 cambeiu Commentary: This Great Resignation isn't as significant as it's made out to be
2022.01.16 23:02 garnetthepug Doesn't this outfit doesn't just perfect scream "fashion influencer"? 🤣🤣 I love mods/cc the most 😭😂
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2022.01.16 23:02 jookco how did judy garland die: Cause of Death - Passed Away and Obituary News Click link to read full story.
2022.01.16 23:02 Questionablethics21 Thought I'd get creative with the flour 🤣🤣🤣
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2022.01.16 23:02 Bethlehemstarr Besides Jacob, which squad member in Mass Effect do you think should be written differently?
(And if you love Jacob more than someone else, feel free to sell that story.)
For me it’s Zaeed. 1) he should have been Batarian. I think a Batarian mercenary would have been so much more interesting as a squad mate. 2) It doesn’t make sense to me that he founded the Blue Suns. 3) he’s a DLC character and he FEELS like a DLC character. Not being able to chat with him between missions makes him feel so shallow.
Second, I would go with Cora. 1) she just is such a strange Asari fan girl 2) shouldn’t she be more mature? 3) I was kind of bored by her.
I also didn’t love Javik nearly as much as most people. I think he didn’t grow as much as a character as I would have liked to see.
*also, I am absolutely positive that I could not improve the writing for any of these characters.
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2022.01.16 23:02 bowtiepastaiscool Why does my phone battery die so quickly in the cold but my overear headphones don't?
2022.01.16 23:02 Play-DohCarti What's the most aggressively "human" name you could give a pet?
2022.01.16 23:02 nickmatrix Platinum trophy
2022.01.16 23:02 Sure_Explorer_1928 Me after seeing our defense play terrific just to see our offense do nothing.
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2022.01.16 23:02 4aparsa How do arrays work when Java doesn't guarantee contiguous memory?
I thought that Arrays and ArrayLists are stored contiguously in memory which is why you have O(1) access time to each element. However, I looked it up and for Java, it said that the objects in the Array/ArrayList are not guaranteed to be in adjacent memory locations? How do we still have O(1) access time for this? Thanks.
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2022.01.16 23:02 Keanuisawesome69 So true 😂🤷🤦
2022.01.16 23:02 MichaelJaemin I set us as my wallpaper, I'm the real #1 Joppee😤😤😤😤
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2022.01.16 23:02 GHOST_V2_5150 Need positive feedback and encouragement
So I’ve been suffering PD and anxiety since about 2010. I initially was prescribed Lexapro which I ended up only taking 5mg for 6 months and did fucking (sorry I text like I talk) amazing. I lost weight no anxiety could work, travel and generally enjoy life. Since than actually 3 yrs after to be exact after a work incident it came back with a vengeance and I became agoraphobic as well, I believe that’s the term not wanting to leave my house. I couldn’t work, I basically could do nothing without being worried and dying of a heart attack or freaking out in public which I’ve never done. Sorry back to my point, since than I’ve tried lexapro again and maxed out at 20mg it worked but I got chubby or fat whichever term you prefer lol. It was okay but I could just barely function, work wise and daily life. I want better for myself and my life I feel like more than 10 yrs have passed me by. I then tried Zoloft which was okay but wow the side effect were horrible and I never felt better on it. I tried a few other things and I’ve found no relief. I’m now getting ready to start Prozac but I’m so scared and tired mentally of the struggle I’m not wanting to start this med. I’m hypersensitive to meds and they want me to start on 20mg but I’ve seen great results from smaller doses. Does anyone know how I can do such a thing? I don’t want to deal with crazy side effects. Just need some good advice and positive feedback I guess.
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2022.01.16 23:02 Enough-Application66 Let’s hope that if she does have a baby, that it doesn’t need special formula.. because she won’t be buying it 🙄
2022.01.16 23:02 martnxo *good seats
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